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Monday, October 12, 2009 @ 11:19 PM
 Right, nice things first.Spend the morning at Honey's. Then to Toh Guan cause Honey gotta fix his bike something2.. Had lunch, super hot Mee Goreng. =S Then to Teban waited for some friends. And the six of us rode in the rain to Vivo to catch 'DARAH'. M18 but aku lepas luh cey.. Haha. Like tak biasa. Uhm, chilled, went to the arcade and whatever luh. Haish, I really wanted to blog about today cause its just so fabulous and funfunfun~, but shit, why must i end a wonderful day like this? I AM FRIGGINGLY @#$%^&*!! Tau tak korang, yang aku ini memang takde orang lain selain daripada korang? Selama ni, korang luh tempat aku mengadu, tumpang kasih sayang kerana aku tak ada kakak atau adik perempuan. Aku sayangkan korang sebab korang sentiasa ada di sisi aku bila aku perlukan korang. Tapi sejak malam tu, aku berubah hati. Aku hancur musnah sebab korang pecah mulut. Bukan aku nak kata yang aku tak pernah tapi tak ada luh aku buat depan orang macam gitu. Tahu tak korang yang aku da kehilangan semua kawan2 sejak malam tu? Tahu tak korang bertapa malu nye aku? Tahu tak korang bertapa hancur nye hidup aku selepas itu tanpa korang? Sebab malam itu, aku tak boleh nak dapat percaya sesiapa lagi. Aku tahu aku bersalah, tapi.. Kalau kita pernah makan, minum, mandi, ketawa, nangis, cabot sekolah, act tough, act gangster, kene suspend dari sekolah, etc, sama2, kenapa kita tak dapat bersemuka dengan cara betul malam tu? Kenapa kata2 kasar sedangkan korang tau aku tengah ada hal. Kenapa aku dimaki, dicaci, dihina dan korang jijik kalau korang kata aku kawan dunia dan akhirat korang? Aku tak boleh lupakan satu barang pun yang korang kata malam tu pasal aku. Haish.. Malam tu.. Aku tak bermaksud nak abai kan korang. Pada aku, aku tak pernah lupa kan korang sebab korang aje dua-dua nya kawan yang boleh aku rely on. Siapa lagi yang aku ada? Korang sendiri tau. Faa, Fatin.. Aku tau, kita should already get along by now. Somehow, i moved on but korang aku tak bawak sama. Tu sbb kita feel awkward. You guys may say that i've changed but uhrg! Aku takut.. Aku takut malam tu akan happen again. Aku tanak kehilangan korang sekali lagi. Aku tanak dibenci dan dijijik untuk kali kedua! Korang should know, I've already lost you two, so i turn to Fandi and made new friends. Not that aku nak campak korang tepi, i did tried to get along but i just couldnt fit in. The trust that i once have for you guys was gone. The tears you made me cried out that night washed away all that was left of our everlasting friendship. I don't feel comfortable to talk about my relationship with Fandi and every other personal things cause im just so scared you two might blurt everything out again one day. =( Aku mintak maaf sebab aku post this on blog. Aku tak tau lagi macam mana nak bilang korang my true feelings. Aku sayang kan korang. Aku sanggup buat apa saja untuk save this friendship, but if you tell me to break it up with Fandi, i can't. He rescued me, he's why I am so lively again. Please understand me. All we can do now is.......im lost and confused. Let time show us our paths then. I am still your friend. Call or text me anytime. I'll be by your side and be your listening ears if you need me. I don't want to loose you two for the second time. I really don't. I wanna sing and shake butts like we always use to do again. I love you two. Just like how I love myself. You're not just bff(s) or blood sisters or sister hood or whatever they call it luh.. You're family, a part of my life that i can't bare to loose. I've lost Hadi. I can't loose Fafaisyatiin too, i'm incomplete. Sigh, just, TIME. ❤ Sya |
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Sya. 18.
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